I woke up with the aftermath of a disagreement with my husband still churning in my head. Because, you know, rehashing it a million times and coming up with zingy retorts so we can launch back into it at breakfast is a great way to use my brain power on 5 hours sleep.
My Bible study routine was interrupted. I've been heading down to the coffee shop early each morning to get some time alone with God away from the messykitchen/toychaos/laundrypile/billstack and everything else that competes for my attention in the wee hours of the morning. It lets me take a few unhurried breaths and clothe myself with good intention for the day. Of course, this morning I got down there to find that I had no money and my Peet's card (with $85 on it!) was nowhere to be found. In a huff, I repacked my bag and headed back home.
All the way home PastorK's message from Sunday was flitting through my brain. Our pastor encouraged us to focus on "What IS". I kept repeating it like a mantra "What is, what is, what is...." until I derailed. "What IS, is that I want to cry. What IS, is that nothing is going right. What IS, is that I didn't sleep. What IS, is that I'm still misunderstood in regards to pointless fight. What IS, is that my next chance to sleep won't be for 7 hours and that's only if I neglect other stuff that will pile up. What IS, is that I can't even study my freaking Bible."
Somehow, I'm not getting the point.
Darn it.
What IS:
- a husband who apologizes even when he doesn't understand what we're arguing about.
- a baby who sleeps through the night EVERY other night.
- a baby!
- money to buy a peet's card...and another one the first is perpetually lost.
- a desire to study the Bible
- a home, a messy, in-my-face-responsibilities home
- an attitude that can be changed.
- a chance to refocus myself before anyone else wakes up.
What is your "What IS??"
Do you, like me, confuse what isn't for what is?
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